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The Dirty Tap Debacle: Stella Artois & Yuengling Lager

beer1 747139 300x200 The Dirty Tap Debacle: Stella Artois & Yuengling Lager

 By Tim Rodgers

Warning!: The following setting is based on true events from this summer:

It’s your typical weekend night where you’re already losing the venue debate with your girl.  Forget hanging out with the boys playing poker or craps in Atlantic City, that battle was lost when you gave her your real cell phone number and a QZ oh so many years ago.  Another Micro-Brew-less night at an over-hyped club.  You arrive at some cacophonic, acoustic deficient converted warehouse, where all the wannabe eastern European Mafioso types are wearing black and gaudy platinum jewelry, and the girls don’t seem to mind them, nor the Justin Bieber cover band.  Could the night get worse?

You peruse the beers on tap seeing your typical Miller Lite, Yuengling Lager, Budweiser, and wait…Nice.  You breathe a sigh of relief; at least they have 4 craft brews of your choosing at the end of the tap.  This night might be alright after all.  You over-pay for your pint, but you don’t mind because some sweet nectar of fine brew is about to wet your lips which will make this setting more tolerable.  You take a whiff of the head of the beer before you put it to your lips, and “OH NO!”  You smell a sour, yeasty, musty smell.  You take a sip, uggh, this isn’t the same Stella Artois I’m used to getting from my distributor?  What the hell is this?

You got hit with the dirty tap debacle. 

The most common type of contaminant found in dirty beer lines is called “beerstone”  – A type of calcium build-up.

 According to Micro-Matic Inc. a company who manufacture beer Kegerator equipment, “Typically the buildup forms as small spots within the beer hose.  When the buildups become larger, they flake off and appear in the dispensed draft beer as small white or black specks which will cause the beer to have an off taste.”

Only cleaning chemicals specifically manufactured for beer line cleaning will dissolve the buildups of bacteria, yeast, mold, and beer stone that occur with draft beer. Unfortunately, I have experienced dirty taps not only in the unfortunate settings described above, as well as some old tap room in your typical blue collar neighborhood, but also some of the finest restaurants and breweries.  The message is simple, clean your damn taps!  And moving forward, the places that don’t clean them will be hereby exposed on this site.

Please email the webmaster with your dirty beer tap culprits to be listed on the site! 

Bottoms up!


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7 comments to The Dirty Tap Debacle: Stella Artois & Yuengling Lager

  • Hillgirl

    Dirty mugs and dirty tap lines are two totally different topics.


    Matt goldstein Reply:

    Sounds like someone needs to write a dirt mug article.


  • Matt Rodgers

    Alot of places need to wash there f-ing mugs better. When there is no head and the boubles stick to the side of the glass means your glass is dirty.

    I need good head!

    Justin Beiber rules!


    Tizzle Reply:

    LOL. True that! Alot of places you need to go with the bottle!


    Matt goldstein Reply:

    If I was at Reed’s, I would prefer a plastic cup. No lie.


  • NFW were they really playing Justin Beiber at a bar!


  • Tizzle

    No joke, at the Springfield in Sea Isle City, they had a cover band playing Miley Cirus and Justin Bieber songs. But I guess the girls with the fake ID’s at that point getting in grew up listening to Hanna Montana. (I guess I’m getting old? ) But it was La Costa with the super dirty taps. It was horrible. Also, it seems like the joints with the dirty taps have servers and bartenders that don’t know the craft or the trade. They only know how to use the bottle opener in their back pocket and end up getting pieces of broken cork in your Pinot!


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