By Tim Rodgers
Warning!: The following setting is based on true events from this summer:
It’s your typical weekend night where you’re already losing the venue debate with your girl. Forget hanging out with the boys playing poker or craps in Atlantic City, that battle was lost when you gave her your real cell phone number and a QZ oh so many years ago. Another Micro-Brew-less night at an over-hyped club. You arrive at some cacophonic, acoustic deficient converted warehouse, where all the wannabe eastern European Mafioso types are wearing black and gaudy platinum jewelry, and the girls don’t seem to mind them, nor the Justin Bieber cover band. Could the night get worse?
You peruse the beers on tap seeing your typical Miller Lite, Yuengling Lager, Budweiser, and wait…Nice. You breathe a sigh of relief; at least they have 4 craft brews of your choosing at the end of the tap. This night might be alright after all. You over-pay for your pint, but you don’t mind because some sweet nectar of fine brew is about to wet your lips which will make this setting more tolerable. You take a whiff of the head of the beer before you put it to your lips, and “OH NO!” You smell a sour, yeasty, musty smell. You take a sip, uggh, this isn’t the same Stella Artois I’m used to getting from my distributor? What the hell is this?
You got hit with the dirty tap debacle.
The most common type of contaminant found in dirty beer lines is called “beerstone” – A type of calcium build-up.
According to Micro-Matic Inc. a company who manufacture beer Kegerator equipment, “Typically the buildup forms as small spots within the beer hose. When the buildups become larger, they flake off and appear in the dispensed draft beer as small white or black specks which will cause the beer to have an off taste.”
Only cleaning chemicals specifically manufactured for beer line cleaning will dissolve the buildups of bacteria, yeast, mold, and beer stone that occur with draft beer. Unfortunately, I have experienced dirty taps not only in the unfortunate settings described above, as well as some old tap room in your typical blue collar neighborhood, but also some of the finest restaurants and breweries. The message is simple, clean your damn taps! And moving forward, the places that don’t clean them will be hereby exposed on this site.
Please email the webmaster with your dirty beer tap culprits to be listed on the site!
The Top 25 Beers in a Can: Oscar Blues, Sly Fox, Maui Brewing, Young’s Double Chocolate, Caldera, 21st Amendment
Pennsylvania Crushes Germany in the Top 10 Pilsners: Pilzilla, Prima Pils, Stoudt’s Pils, Pikeland Pils, Troegs Sunshine Pils
The Best Beer under $20 a Case: Yuengling Lager, Bitburger, Leinenkugels, Shiner Bock, Lionshead and more…
The Top 25 Stouts: Founders KBS, Breakfast Stout, Bell’s Kalamazoo, Rogue Shakespear Oatmeal, Goose Island Black Cat Bourbon, Deschutes the Abyss
The Top 10 Oktoberfest Beers: Ayinger, Beck’s, Hacker Pschorr, Flying Fish, Hofbrau, Stoudt’s, Lefthand, Magic Hat, Spaten
The Top Ten Belgian White Ales from a Taste Test: Blanche de Bruxelles, Hoegaarden, Ommengangs Witte, Victory Wirlwind, St. Brnardis Blanche, Allagash White, Blue Moon and more…
The Top 10 Mexican Beers: Bohemia, Negra Modela, Dos Equis, Corona, Carta Blanca, Tecate, Sol and more…
Top 50 Pound for Pound Beer List: Chimay, Dogfish Head, Sierra Nevada, Bells’, Victory, Founders, Hacker-Pschorr, Weyerbacher and more…