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Ode to the Shower Beer

shower beer pbr 300x225 Ode to the Shower Beer

Courtesy of Local Dark Bars

By Brandon Gould

The shower beer is not regularly regarded of as a sacred event, but it is.  Most people don’t just decide to consistently take beers into the shower at any given chance we get.  There is a time, a place, and a mentality for the Shower Beer.  Friday afternoon is the optimal time for the S. B.  Your off a big work week and you’re getting ready for the weekend and a night out.  The shower beer is best with a fuck the man and take the night attitude complimented by a good rock song.

The other good time is Saturday or Sunday morning.  After you’ve taken the night and just need a good WTF happened beer and wash it all off shower.  Usually followed with some sort of day drinking extravaganza.

The shower beer doesn’t get enough respect.  It’s not as easy as it sounds.  There are rules and obstacles.

The first rule of the beer shower is you do not leave shower till beer is completely finished.  If you cannot finish a 12 ounce can in the time it takes to take a shower then you don’t deserve the shower beer.  At worst you better finish your last sip before your dry.

The second rule is the beer has to be a basic American beer. ie Pabst, Bud, Coors, ETC.  Do not take a quality craft beer in the shower. It doesn’t make sense and it is not efficient. Pounding  a warm IPA just isnt enjoyable.

The first obstacle is time management.  How to get what you need to get done while also enjoying your fine beverage before it gets warm due to steam.

The next obstacle is not splashing or getting over spray in the beer.  Most regular size showers have ledges, but they’re on the shower head side so as to be easy accessible for soap and water.  So the one hand above shower head can prove to be very effective.  It’s about the beer not necessarily cleanliness.

It’s not just a beer in the shower it’s a well deserved coordinated don’t get in my way shower beer.

My Ode to the shower beer





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8 comments to Ode to the Shower Beer

  • “After you’ve taken the night and just need a good WTF happened beer and wash it all off shower.”

    Typically, I’m a going out or winding down “shower beerer” (i.e. “one that shower beers” or “he who enjoys beer in the shower”).

    This new phenom of the morning shower beer is a complete mind blow. But I’m a man who’s open to possibilities, and between you and me, I see nothing but air and opportunity.

    This Saturday a good “WTF happened beer” will be in full effect. Thank you for expanding my world.


    Matt Goldstein Reply:

    A good “WTF happened beer.” I will need one of these in Vegas.


  • Nate

    My favorite time for a shower beer or “Bower” is as a pregame to a night of drinking. Usually, I take a PBR and try to drink it in the time it takes to leave conditioner in my hair. As a side note, using conditioner as been a recent development in my life and has coincided with my girlfriend forcing me to use it. She complains that I don’t leave it in long enough to gain it’s full effectiveness. Now when she asks how long I left in my conditioner, I can proudly reply, “As long as it took to drink this PBR.” Small victories! Thank you shower beer!


    Matt Goldstein Reply:

    LMAO @ the Bower. It’s all about the small victories.


  • Susan

    That’s the shower to share with you lover !!!

    What do you drink if you don’t like Beer?


  • Matt Goldstein

    I don’t have many hero’s in life but I’m pretty sure Brandon Gould is one of them.


    chap71 Reply:

    I wish I was in the shower!


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