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Whiskey Goldmine Signs Exclusive Contract with Miller Highlife

miller highlife guy Whiskey Goldmine Signs Exclusive Contract with Miller HighlifeMiller Highlife: The Official Beer of You and Whiskey Goldmine

By Matt Goldstein

We were just chillin at Whiskey Goldmine headquarters earlier today, kickin back a few Miller Highlife’s when all of the sudden a chubby black guy from Miller Highlife knocks on the door.  Wait a minute, was that racist?  OK, ok, a chubby guy knocked on the door.  Wait, sorry, the Miller Highlife guy knocked on the door and asked to become the official beer of me and Whiskey Goldmine.  “Oh, hell yeah.”  Are you kidding me?  “Do I get and money and free beer?” I asked.  “Absolutely not,” the chubby black man replied.  “Sweet, where do I sign?”  Sorry beer geeks, we live the high life at Whiskey Goldmine.

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Miller High Life Official Beer 300x235 Whiskey Goldmine Signs Exclusive Contract with Miller HighlifeThe Miller Highlife Contract

I, [STATE YOUR NAME], hereby commit to living the highest possible form of the High Life in any and all situations. I pledge never to willingly participate in non-High Life-like activities, including but not limited to: male bathing suit shopping, goatee dying, embroidered golf shirt collar popping, wallet-mirror carrying, denim pant leg rolling, unnecessary nail manicuring, or pet portrait painting. Most importantly, I will uphold my sense of common sense and use it authoritatively when called for to maintain my responsibility to unashamedly, undeniably, and unabashedly live the High Life.

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